I'm sure these are from all over the South and West, and as much as I'd like, I can't claim them just for Texas -- but here are a few of my favorite Cowboy Colloquilisms and their meanings:

1. The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving (Not overly-intelligent)
2. She's got tongue enough for 10 rows of teeth (That woman can talk)
3. It's so dry the trees are bribin' the dogs (We really could use a little rain around here)
4. He looks like the dog's been keepin' him under the porch (Not the most handsome of men)
5. Time to paint your butt white and run with the antelope (Stop arguing and do as you're told)
6. Sit on your fist and lean on your thumb (You're on your own for seating arrangements)
7. They ate supper before they said grace (Living in sin)
8. Tighter than bark on a tree (Not very generous)
9. He'll squeeze a dollar till the eagle screams. (Tightwad, for sure)
10. He/She is like a booger that ya can't thump off! (A bothersome person)
11. That feller ain't nothin' but an appetite with skin drawn over it. (He's skinny)
12. He'll never drown in his own sweat. (Never be accused of working hard)
13. He's like a fart in a fryin' pan (Unpredictable)

And for the fastest fingers? That's a joke, of sorts. I took a touch typing test that I saw at Robin's and thought I'd post it for you. I only wish I thought as fast as I typed!
88 words

free Touch typing

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