The Lewis household has been experiencing some mighty interesting things these last three weeks. First, our inside A/C unit went out. Fortunately for us, we had been having extremely mild spring weather for this area. Whereas temperatures were normally in the mid 80's, they hovered around the high 60's to low 70's. A blessing indeed. But enough with the weather report, because it is now in the 90's. And we still have no A/C because we will have to cut off our arms and legs to pay for the new unit plus labor to install said unit. And we sort of need our arms and legs.

But I also sort of need some relief from the heat. The high in our house today (all windows open, and with three big box fans blowing that balmy wind IN) was a mere 94 degrees. No WONDER I'm losing weight. At my current rate, I have calculated I should weigh around 19.2 pounds at the end of the summer. Give or take.

And as if that's not enough - it seems we have an enormous infestation of fleas from who knows where. Have I ever told you internets how much I detest fleas? Especially because there is no way to get rid of them short of "fogging" the entire household...encasing toothbrushes and fruit in protective plastic coverings, opening cabinets, unmaking beds and washing all sheets...it's quite the chore. I know, I have to do it every year. I've never had to do it in the heat, however. Not in NINETY FOUR degree heat, y'all.

I wouldn't worry so much, but I read Michael Crichton's book, "Timeline" recently and I discovered (much to my chagrin) that fleas transport bubonic plague. Um, hello? That's B-U-bonic plague. So I took the necessary steps yesterday to de-flea my happy albeit hot abode. K and I closed all the windows and once the children were safely inside the van, I commenced with the "flea-killin'", setting off four bombs in our 1400 square foot home. We then proceeded to Gramma's house where we spent the next 5 hours killing time only to discover when we came home that K had left one of the living room windows open (the blind was closed, so she didn't check it--GACK!) and so all of the careful preparation was for naught.

Last night we didn't just have fleas. We had fleas that were ticked off and they weren't taking any names. I had to sleep with one eye open. You know those things can jump over 6 feet? I had dreams of Bruce Lee Ninja Flea flying through the still dark night air and attacking me with some heretofore unknown ninja moves. I thought about joining my 5 year old in his loft bed just to escape the beasts, but common sense prevailed. Plus, his bed is not even 6 feet in the air. (That wouldn't be safe, y'all--what kind of a mother do you think I am?)

So I'll be checking the hundreds of bite locations for signs of abnormal swelling...and I'll be making another trip to the Wal-Mart Super-duper-center to buy some more Raid. Send good thoughts my way, if you will. And if any of you out there have better ideas as to HOW I can control the flea population (I don't think spaying and neutering will work, Mr. Barker)...feel free to leave those suggestions in the comments area.

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