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Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Works for me - Almost Guilt-Free Parenting!


Ever notice how kids seem to do twice the bad things you do, but only half the good?

My mama used to tell me to "Do as I say, not as I do" and I now know what she meant by that. She wasn't trying to be contradictory or even have a double standard, as some might think. She wasn't attempting to live a lifestyle that was to her own liking, she was just trying to live right. But, being human, she would fail on occasion and show her true colors. Then, I would watch her get on her knees, pray and ask forgiveness and get back up a little stronger in her determination to do right.

I understand she was really just putting the waterfall theory into practice. She'd paddled the river of life and knew where the outcroppings of rocks in the water were...she knew where the low-lying branches could smack you in the face when you weren't paying attention, she knew where the waterfall was. She was making sure I knew not to go those places, as she had done.

I think these days that saying has a very negative connotation. So I do not use it with my kids. Instead I say, "Do as I say, because I have been there and I know better". I don't believe we have to let our kids make the same mistakes we made...I believe doing so is poor stewardship. Ouch. I know. But I really think it is.

Which brings me to my point - Being a person of integrity (a person whose words and deeds match up) is what works for me. When I fail as a mother, wife, daughter, child of God...I let my kids know. I make sure they understand that my actions were unacceptable and I usually apologize. It's not easy or fun. But no one ever told me that raising kids would be easy. Fun yes, easy, no.

Visit Shannon over at Rocks in My Dryer for more WFMW: The Great Parenting Advice edition.

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Beautifully said Karen. This is an encouragement for sure.
Blessings...

Anonymous said...

That's so true. When they see us confessing our sin and asking forgiveness, it's an example to them. Trying to act like we never sin is frustrating to them when they can see our faults. Plus I think it helps the empathy between our children and ourselves when they see we're only human but we admit when we're wrong.