Not just any dog.
Have you ever seen the movie "Underdog"? Well, in the movie, underdog is a beagle. Yep. We got Underdog. A bumbling, mess-making catastrophe of a dog who means well, but is just one sandwich shy of a picnic.
We have tried for three months to housebreak this dog (well, technically, since she was born May 10th, she's still a puppy) with no luck. We'd let her outside to play and she'd have a ball, then run to the door begging to come inside, only to find a good clean spot to squat and pee on my carpet. Every. Time.
So since I was tired of cleaning pee and poop stains, we made ready her new home outside in our fenced in yard. I worried about her because she was only three months old and I wouldn't put a defenseless child in the yard at three months old, but hubs assured me she could take it. She is, after all, a D-O-G. (Just don't tell her that).
I was really concerned I'd have to buy a carpet tile to lay outside for her to poop and pee on, since she obviously prefers carpet to grass. However, I am happy to report that she has had absolutely NO trouble adjusting. My training skills are obviously lacking in the potty-training capacity.
Oh, we did have some incessant bawling and squawling cries of "you don't love me anymore!" and "why'd you put me in this hot, dark place without any human contact?" in the beginning (usually at night when our neighbors were trying to sleep), but I'm happy to report she's now doing just fine.
And I haven't stepped on one wet spot since we put her out. There really IS a "happily ever after" after all.